I have a bone to pick here. Something I’ve been experiencing a lot and wondering if (and I’m sure of it) there are people like myself out there and how they deal with it.

I am at a party, birthday, marriage, shower, having a great time. I mix and mingle with different people...some I know others I don’t. At random I come across aunties and uncles or other strangers (potential aunties or uncles) who show interest in me. "Are you married" one asks. "No". Hmmm why not?

Now I’ve over the years contemplated and actually attempted several different types of answers. Having no real desire to answer the questions or no real interest in them particularly (I haven’t been losing sleep over them) over the years the questions have gotten on my nerves and the answers have varied from, "Oh I haven’t found anyone" to "not ready yet" to "just hasn’t happened yet" to "do I know you? who are you?" to lately I’m close to saying "cause I’m gay."

To these I get... "Well you should really think about it at "your age" (I’m 27). Time is running by. Life is short. Bla bla bla." I’ve heard it all. "You know so and so’s daughter never got married cause she missed the boat" or "You know so and so just got married, what are you waiting for?"

Sometimes I wonder if there is a sign on my forehead that says "Harass me". No really. Sometimes I wonder "Wow that takes balls to say stuff like that to a total stranger and put them down". My question is why where a culture is so big on manners and respect towards elders are elders so disrespectful towards the younger generation? I mean I’m a strong believer in mutual respect and I’m not going to respect someone unless I get some from them or they earn it from me. In my books it’s earned not dished out for free. I deserve the same amount of respect as any average person there.

I’m even starting to think that some people were being simply vicious and deriving pleasure out of seeing me shrink back after each question. I mean in all honesty I’m not a 12 year old kid anymore where I would get yelled at to be nice to auntie so and so and I’d have to do it. I have a mind of my own, a personality of my own, I’m my own person and thank you very much I pay my own bills. So how do total strangers at times find it their business to get into yours?? And why is it done so tactlessly? I’m embarrassed at times for them. Even my own parents don’t question me, so now I’m perplexed as to where it’s coming from?

I’m sure there are others out there that go through this. I wonder what answers others give to shut up the unwanted, rather nosy queries. Apparently honest answers don’t work. People are always looking for juicier answers or more complicated answers so they can decipher your psyche and life. When I tell people simply... "I haven’t thought about it or haven’t met anyone" it isn’t enough. I see the look of displeasure on their faces. I’m usually faced trying to explain... "What do you mean meet? What do you mean you haven’t thought about it...you are 27? Is something wrong with you?".

Sheesh! Why is Indian society when faced with a woman who isn’t in tow of a man suddenly thrown off it’s rockers? Why the shock? Why the need for justification? I mean is it really so difficult in this day and age in the west to find a woman still single in her late 20’s and not anywhere close to suicide cause of it? I mean are they really loosing sleep over my situation and are genuinely concerned or are they simply looking to shock themselves, the need for melodrama at someone else’s expanse? What is this obsession with asking "Why aren’t you married?". I’m so sick of it I feel like walking around with those hello cards on my forehead that says "Hi I’m Rupa, I’m 27 and yes I’m still single, yes I’m quite happy with my situation and please mind your own business about it".

The strangers I just learn to ignore. The ones I have to keep encountering are just plain annoying after a while. Oh and to answer with... "When I meet the right person I will marry" is like opening a can of worms. I’ve gotten things like... "Why haven’t you met anyone yet? surely you’ve been introduced to people? what do your parents say about all this?" Oh and I’ve stepped on landmines with... "Marriage isn’t a priority for me right now" cause they would look at me like I had two heads. "Oh my god at this age what could a girl’s priority be?" You know the fake fainting spells, all the melodrama.
I just don’t get it. Almost everyone I know knows that arranged marriage isn’t a venue I’d go through, knows the person that I am and knows I’m not preoccupied with marriage so then what gives? Why do they still ask? What’s with the viciousness?